I blame the lack of posts recently (and in the near future) on the writing of my thesis, which tends to take up most of my time during the day (and I doesn’t has teh interwebs at home – ZOMFGWTF?!?), but I’ll try to throw a post up every now and then. Like this one:
Am I the only person alive who doesn’t think Danica Patrick is attractive (her name’s stupid as all hell, too, but hey – who’s keeping score)? Now I admit I’m not the biggest fan of NASCAR (or any other racing for the matter – suck a fat one Olympics!) and that redneck mentality might be the second worst thing ever to evolve, but none of that factors into my disdain of her appearance. Hell, she could be feeding me hot wings and keeping my beer hat full while I play video games and I’d still think she’s ugly as hell (which incidentally is why she could never feed me hot wings and keep my beer hat full while I play video games). Her face looks like God drank alot and made it out of silly putty. Except her chin. Holy Jesusmarymotherofgod look at that chin! That thing’s a damn anvil. Seriously! You could forge swords on it. You know what you can’t forge swords on? My abs. Because they are so cushioned beneath a healthy layer of beer fat rippling. Aw. Looks like another summer of being banned from the beach for being so damn unattractive. But who needs that? I’ll make my own beach on the porch with a kiddie pool and cooler and everything. Added bonus: no one yells at me that “this ain’t one of the fairy nekkid beaches, son.” Ahhhhh. Let em breath.
Update: Apparently there are laws about drinking and being naked in public. And apparently public means anywhere my nosey ass neighbors can see. I’m on the run from the po-pos.
Update: Note to self: police aren’t afraid of my “love gun.” Neither is Rapie Tod, my cellmate. Hey Tod, how’d you get the name “Rapie” anyways? Oh. I see.
Update: help
steve said
I feel the same way!