Cowabunga, dudes! Actor/amateur surfer Matthew McConaughey’s Brazilian model girlfriend, Camila Alves, gave birth to a boy yesterday. Early reports out of NIH have scientists baffled that the man-child was not only able to convince a woman to sleep with him, but was able to procreate. The baby boy will be raised out of wedlock as the beach yeti, or “sandsquatch” tends to be a solitary creature, seeking company solely for mating purposes. Also, the mother is “like, totally an ugly hodad. I was bein’ wingman for my bra, and like, totally had seven beers and we horked some wicked seaweed. I was totally maxed out, man.”
In related news, Yahoo! has a news affiliate that is apparently run by twelve year old girls (you’d know this if you took the time to click on the links I painstakingly post for you ungrateful bastards). As near as I can tell, omg! focuses on celebrity gossip, but word on the streets* is that it will be making a move to world news-type reporting. Execs from CNN are looking over their collective shoulder at this new up-and-comer.
*Forever 21 discount racks
Maureen & Kate said
Is this what you do with your time??????? Why waste so much on such trivial things??? Not yelling, but just wondering ….. so busy and yet so little time